The Real Deflategate

Anyone else tired of hearing about Tom Brady and the Patriots and their magical deflated footballs? Yep. Me too.

Deflategate is happening every day at my house, and no, I’m not talking about my 3-year-old’s under-inflated soccer ball.

Breastfeeding. The *real* Deflategate.

1. Any nursing mom will tell you she owns no less than half a dozen nursing bras and not one of them fits consistently all day long. From early morning engorgement #finallysleepingthroughthenightproblems to the after-dinner slump, “the girls” change sizes faster than the baby changes diapers.

2. Speaking of changing sizes, for the smaller-chested gals, our new found breastfeeding swagger quickly fades once baby weans and all we’re left with are post-breastfeeding saggers.

3. The struggle is real for those who aren’t quite symmetrical to begin with. We end up throwing a Hail Mary with each feeding session, hoping and praying that baby won’t leave us looking even more lopsided than usual.

4. What I really want to know, though, is how hard can it be to pump a football? I wanna see Tom Brady try to pump while driving down I-64 in rush hour traffic. Seriously. Let’s see *that* at the combine next year, eh?

Whether you breastfed your child(ren) for 2 weeks or 2 years (or longer), you know what we’re talking about here. It’s not always pretty (in fact, more often than not it’s a hot mess) but it’s pretty darn amazing.

Even more amazing than Tom Brady’s spiral.

Special thanks to Mandy for contributing to this post!!

One thought on “The Real Deflategate

  1. Oh Lauren! You’ve outdone yourself with this post! Thanks for starting off my day with a laugh, and taking me back (waaay back) to the days of breastfeeding my own babies.

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